


say you need me with you here, beside you

by speckler



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, F/F, I tried my best, Unrequited Love, chuuves if you squint, im sorry if it's cringy too, they're performing in a play yall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 03:20:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18770149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/speckler/pseuds/speckler
Summary: sooyoung had some doubts joining this year’s troupe, the problem being her hesitance and her stage presence. it took her awhile to make up her mind, wanting some good things on her record before she enters college. plus, why would she hesitate when she knows jinsol and her lovely best friend, haseul would be by her side anyways.but that’s the thing, sooyoung realizes a few songs prior. the problem was jinsol and haseul themselves.[lowercase intended]





	say you need me with you here, beside you

" _maybe auditioning for this goddamn high school musical was a mistake_ ," sooyoung thinks as she lets the makeup artist adjust the tightness of the mask before moving on to the next scene. after two more songs, the second act would begin, and sooyoung could almost feel the comfort of her bed wrapping around her.

 

it wasn’t as if the phantom of the opera was a bad thing for the school to do, and nor was the production terrible. in fact, it surpassed sooyoung’s expectation.

 

(but to be fair, it was high school and sooyoung decided to put the bar for her expectations a little lower. there was no way of knowing that the school would actually spend so much for this year’s production. hell, even their advisor was baffled when he found out that the venue was actually changed to the city’s auditorium)

 

sooyoung had some doubts joining this year’s troupe, the problem being her hesitance and her stage presence. it took her awhile to make up her mind, wanting some good things on her record before she enters college. plus, why would she hesitate when she knows jinsol and her lovely best friend, haseul would be by her side anyways.

 

but that’s the thing, sooyoung realizes a few songs prior. the problem was jinsol and haseul themselves.

 

she hears the song start, the slow and steady pace of the strings signalling one of the most iconic parts of the musical. sooyoung slinks to her position: a wall a little taller than her crouched form on the second story of the stage, right next to where the orchestra would be playing. 

 

sooyoung wouldn’t lie and say that the melody didn’t give her thrills, make the hair at the back of her neck rise with each note. it would be safe to say that she was in love with it the moment she heard it. 

 

(sadly, despite her fondness for it, sooyoung wouldn’t be able to sing it on stage. it wasn’t like she was picked for that role anyways)

 

yet for some reason, tonight, sooyoung felt like there was something wrong. she felt her usual goosebumps, but it wasn’t out of the excitement that usually ran from her neck down to her toes. maybe it was because it was their last performance for the club. they were seniors after all.

 

but sooyoung knows that wasn’t it, peeking out from the wall just enough for her to still be hidden from the crowd.

 

maybe it was the fact she despises how jinsol held so much more adoration than one would put on acting.

 

“no more talk of darkness, forget these wide-eyed fears,” jinsol sings, rushing forward to grasp haseul’s shoulders gently. “i’m here, nothing can harm you. my words will warm and calm you...”

 

jung jinsol acting as raoul was definitely a great pick, no doubt about it. a stubborn character, willing to take lengths in order to keep christine safe, yet charming and charismatic, someone who would definitely be anyone’s first love. raoul seemed to mirror jinsol perfectly, and when first auditioned for the part, it was if she completely melded into him. she was him just as she wasn’t, her own unique flavor of what christine’s savior would be. 

 

jo haseul playing christine was practically a match made in heaven, and anyone who thought otherwise might as well have no sense of sight or hearing. the girl was practically born with the talent, her entire family made of musicians and singers. so the moment haseul was brought into the world, she had her life laid out before her, molded into refinement. haseul’s audition for the role of christine arguably took everyone’s breath away, flawlessly hitting every high note and grappling with everyone’s emotion. needless to say, she was accepted on the spot.

 

sooyoung was proud of her friends. haseul deserved the role completely, and jinsol worked hard to get it after all. yet as haseul sings the chorus in such a tender tone, sooyoung couldn’t help but think:

 

_ “why not me?” _

 

record scratch, rewind: sooyoung didn’t want to audition for the school play. hell, she didn’t even get the role. it was her first time doing something like this, so the outcome of it was pretty obvious. she landed as her close friend, kim jungeun’s understudy instead. 

 

however, jungeun had broken her ankle during the previous performance, so sooyoung had to take over for the last one. jungeun promised she would watch the show to make sure sooyoung didn’t mess up (and also for emotional support, but sooyoung would rather die than admit that to the brunette).

 

so far, things were going good, until she had overheard jinsol whispering small words of confessions into haseul’s ear backstage. 

 

sooyoung didn’t mean to pry, really, but who wouldn’t overhear when everyone was practically buzzing in the same room. she happened to be close by, being assisted by kim jiwoo, the bubbliest stage manager she’s ever met, with her suit and mic. 

 

she should be happy, really. two of her friends got together and that should be okay, right?

 

it would have been, if sooyoung didn’t have the biggest crush on haseul herself.

 

(how could she not when the girl herself was simply the definition of everything magnificent? at some point in their tight-knit friendship, sooyoung knew it would be inevitable, crashing into waves of longing and sinking deeper into her want. sooyoung would give her the world if haseul asked her to)

 

as she watches the song reaches its crescendo, jinsol and haseul slowly coming towards one another, sooyoung feels her fingers digging into her palm. 

 

she knew how her best friend would respond to jinsol’s confession. she wishes their lips would never meet, because if it did, the tiny light of hope the sooyoung desperately tries to keep alive would simply die. 

 

but sooyoung feels her heart break before it even happens because she knows haseul would never be hers. all that wishful thinking brought her to hope for something that would only ever occur late at night, a nightmare she’d dip herself into over and over again. how could she let herself be like this, purposefully ignoring the way haseul was drawn to jinsol from the start.

 

she looks away when their lips finally do meet.

 

(all their previous shows had faux kisses, practiced painstakingly that it was almost real. they could fool the crowd, but not sooyoung. she knew today’s showing would be different, knowing how haseul would respond to the blonde’s confession)

 

sooyoung feels like she’s been dunked underwater: everything seemed to blur, her hearing felt muffled, the pressure in her chest getting heavier and heavier.

 

before she knew it, the song had been over, and the low rumbling of the drums echoed through the auditorium. it was nearly her cue, and she felt like she was too weak to sing or stand. still, sooyoung grabs the edge of the wall and dramatically hoists herself up, the shakiness of her fingers and soreness of her heart no longer an acting.

 

“i gave you my music,” still and smooth, sooyoung tries to render the ringing in her ears go quiet. “made your song take wing.”

 

she raises her voice a little louder, lifting her hands toward her mask. “and now, how you repaid me. denied me and betrayed me.”

 

sooyoung never thought she’d actually relate to a character more than she should, the phantom’s written pain thrumming deep into her heart and flowing through her blood. she thought it cheesy to blend herself with a character, knowing that her own personality would show through anyways. but tonight, she feels the phantom come to life with her own voice, in each note and each gesture. all because sooyoung saw the love of her life accept someone’s confession right in front of her.

 

_ “i can use this to my advantage,” _ sooyoung thinks, trying to comfort herself.  _ “i don’t need to pretend i’m not hurt about this when i can just sing my frustration away.” _

 

her mental pep talk was actually beginning to work as she lets the note waver into the air, her hands reaching for the light.

 

and then she hears it.

 

“say you’ll share with me one love, one lifetime,” softly and gently were jinsol and haseul’s voice, shaded by the curtain and both pressed against mics instead of lapels. sooyoung focuses her view into the crowd, yet out of the corner of her eye, she can see haseul reaching for jinsol’s pinky, eventually intertwining their fingers. 

 

it makes sooyoung grasp her hair a little tighter. her eyes are beginning to burn.

 

no, she can’t cry right now.

 

“say the words and i will follow you…”

 

“no,” sooyoung whispers, the hands in her hair dragging down to her ears, desperately trying to muffle out their voices. hearing them makes it worse, and she doesn’t want to break down on stage, even if she could cover it up like it was part of the act.

 

“share each day with me; each night, each morning…”

 

_ “why can’t it be me?” _

 

sooyoung unknowingly growls as she belts her part loud and clear, unable to stop the hotness that had spread from her neck to her ears. it was like her face had gone numb as she hit the final notes for her reprise, the dampness in her neck and collar growing too much to be called sweat. 

 

she knows jinsol and haseul had seen it. she knows jungeun had seen it. 

 

she needs to get away.

 

sooyoung disappears as the stage lights up in fireworks and the audience roaring in their applause. the last thing she had seen was jungeun clumsily jump to her feet, an attempt to get a jump start to reach backstage, but she doesn’t care. she doesn’t want to see anyone.

 

she finds a secluded room away from the bustle of the production team, settling herself down onto a sturdy box. she doesn’t notice that she’s been staring at nothing for a while, barely sensing urgent footsteps coming her direction.

 

“sooyoung?”

 

she doesn’t look up as she hears a sharp intake of air. it doesn’t take long until someone’s kneeled in front of her. she feels arms wrap around her waist, auburn hair under her chin.

 

“jiwoo?” her voice sounded unsettling to her own ears, void of anything. the set designer pulls away from the hug, eyebrows scrunched in worry and bringing a hand against sooyoung’s damp cheek, surveying the obvious ruin of her makeup.

 

“what happened…?” jiwoo was soft and gentle and that alone was enough to make sooyoung cry again. a broken sob escaped her lips as she buries her head against the younger’s shoulder, fingers clenching fistfuls of her shirt. 

 

jiwoo rubs comforting circles around her back, sweet words in her ears and it was enough for her to forget why she was here in the first place.

 

they must’ve been gone for a while but sooyoung no longer cared, not until she gets the rest of the overflow in her chest gone. she wants to be selfish, even just for a little bit before she has to face the reality of it all again.

 

_ “screw it, the second act can wait.” _

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hi! i hope you enjoyed my fic. reviews and criticisms are appreciated :D


End file.
